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Pick up artist videos – Simple Ways to Pick Up Girls, Fast
No I don’t think this is possible. I believe you are born gay and ‘converting a lesbian’ is like me saying a charming guy can convert you to being gay….which I’m sure you’d disagree with because you’re simply not gay. If they’re bi to begin with that’s still a different issue – having said that, many of my lesbian or gay friends have had heterosexual sex before they ‘came out of the closet’ but they hated it and usually forced themselves because of social convention.
Video: T Gets a Woman’s Number in 1 Minute at a Mall
Hahaha – are you serious? Being gay is being gay – nothing in the world can change that if that’s how you naturally are.
Pick up artist videos – Simple Ways to Pick Up Girls, Fast
Texting is seen as the pussy’s way out – and facebook is seen as the stalker-pussy’s way out. Guys who are nervous would rather hide behind a phone because it gives them a chance to think. They lack on-the-spot confidence because they aren’t naturally good ladies men or they haven’t been trained to be exceptionally effective with women.
So, when you text instead of call two pitfalls can happen:
1) You appear and act in accordance with those other guys she has experienced who texted and generally turned out to lack confidence and kill her attraction – acting like them will have her associate YOU with them. So being counter intuitive and avoid that.
2) There’s a certain familiarity and rapport that re-arises on a call that can often fall by the wayside in text. Your chances of mainataining all that good rapport and attraction you created when you first met is significantly higher via telephone call because it is more REAL.
The ‘more real’ problem is also an issue as you can risk OVER escalating with text as most successful ladies men can use the fact that they’re ‘hiding behind a phone’ to escalate a lot quicker than they could face to face because, put simply…it’s safer for her and has less risk of a loss of face.
Here’s some pointers from my online course:
1) Be doing something mundane and get her to ‘entertain you’ whilst you are buying groceries, walking home, waiting for the bus or flossing your cat. Most girls know guys think about the call and wait and pine over calling them. You though, should not fake this, honestly be doing these things for real – it will give you an air of indifference that most guys TRY to have but let their nerves get to them.
2) Have a high energy – be excited to be talking to her – you want to end on a high – your energy level is contagious – if you’re tired and awkward she will be too. Most guys break rapport by not being the same fun going happy club guy or street guy they met and they get a monotone nervous wreck on the other end of the line.
As for texting:
Tease them about a topic of conversation you spoke about – the tease will provoke a response and the topic of conversation you remember will reinstate your previous rapport.
If you call and she doesn’t answer, then you can text.
Avoiding Rejection when Approaching Girls
It’s the most common problem with guys, sportsmen refer to it as being in ‘the zone’. Instead of having mental blanks you instead have a choice of the 5 funny and attractive things to say in you head, instead of walking up to a girl and having her just brush you off as another loser guy you can walk up to woman and have her captivated instantly.
There’s many theories on why this is, Malcom Gladwell in the text Blink would suggest it is because people are making a snap judgment of you and you’re then acting in a way consistent with their initial (and perhaps accurate) stereotype of you.
Daniel Goleman (the man who coined the terms EQ and Emotional Intelligence) says in his book Social Intelligence that there’s scientific evidence to show that emotions are contagious – something I agree with fully. Recently on my world tour I met an amazing Hungarian dating coach called Mex, I was discussing this point with him as I believe that ‘the zone’ is a real phenomenon but you can bring it on doing a variety of things that I’ve been using in my workshops for the past 3 out of the 6 years I’ve been doing them. Anyhow…he put it in a much more simplistic fashion than Goleman or Gladwell, he simply said “She feels what you feel”. In my first book Weapons of Mass Seduction I said “enthusiasm is contagious” and I still believe that.
Speaking in a fast and excited manner with your eyes wide open and in a generally animated way (through your facial expressions and gesticulation) will 95% of the time get women excited too…and when they’re excited around you they will remember you and emotionally associate you with just that, excitement.
Goleman would support this notion and there’s a tonne of scientific evidence to strongly (and in my eyes unequivocally) assert that yes, emotions are contagious.
So what does this mean for you? Some nights ‘you’ve just got it’ other nights ‘you’re just not in the zone and things arent going your way’. Well, I’ll let you in a few little secrets – for the past two years I’ve been testing an tirelessly researching this exact phenomenon – those who have come before me like Goleman, Gladwell, Cialdini, Greene, etc etc are very good at telling us ‘why we are the way we are’ but rarely tell us how to use it to our advantage. That’s the problem with all these self-help texts, they leave you with an air of futility once you finish them.
You think ‘OK, I know that first impressions are important, I know emotions are contagious….but fuck, what if I consistently make bad first impressions and feel tired and depressed, am I doomed to be subjected to bad interactions as a consequence of ‘how I am’? What If I want to change how I am? Pick up artists, salesmen, motivational speakers, personal trainers – all these people aren’t just naturally successful, they’re trained and have tricks on how to influence others that they use with devestating effectiveness DAILY, so how do I do the same with women?’ I understand these sentiments but for you Mike and other men and WOMEN who share your sentiments my advice would be this:
1) The ‘zone’ or in your terms ‘it’s just the chemistry – you know we click.
But some nights I just am not in the groove!’ comes from an effective awareness and management of your external validators. In lay terms this means that if we get good results early on (or are already in a good mood) those emotions and that mindset will pervade all aspects of our communication and make you attractive. Happy and confident people are attractive as instinctively it is a sign of health and shows you’re a worthy specimen to your potential mates. If you went and just got a kiss close with a girl within the first 20 minutes of your night it will VALIDATE you and the results that you’ve just seen and experienced with your own eyes will convince you and reaffirm to you that YOU ARE AWESOME. Your self doubt will dissipate because you have now confirmed to yourself ‘I can do it, I just did it!’ and emotionally this will resonate with you and show through in your facial expressions, your tonality and your body language.
2) Most of all, it is often the HESISTATION or the perceived hesistation by your target that can turn them off you quite quickly as you instantly demonstrate that you’re not confident as you may sound.
Your actions are not ‘congruent’ / do not match what you’re saying (or even how you’re saying it…assuming that ‘it’ is something confident-sounding e.g. ‘Oh you and I will never work, I need a woman that’s X’). People have an idea as to what a ‘confident’ person is like based of their previous experiences with people that they see and believe are truely confident. If you don’t match that then people won’t buy what you’re saying / doing and you ‘just won’t be in the groove’, if you match it partially e.g. what you’re saying is confident but your body language is saying otherwise – or perhaps you stutter or hesistate as you say it, then people will be a little wary of you – it’s the ‘There’s something not quite right but I’m not sure why’ feeling.
3) The best way to ‘get into the zone’ and have your confidence just seep out of your skin is something I call ‘transient confidence’, it’s confidence that comes and goes depending on the context. It doesn’t mean you’re not a happy confident guy all the time in all other aspects of your life (work, friends, familiy, etc) it’s just that in this particular social situation (e.g. walking into a high end night club by yourself) you feel LESS confident and your self doubt is a lot more prevalent than it usually is because you’re in an environment / context that feels foreign to you and us naturally as humans tend to avoid or be wary of things that are different or unfamiliar as they can pose hidden risks. In this instance, the doubt is often ‘I don’t know anyone and that girl / guy is hot but I’m unsure of how to impress them and I’m doubting whether I’m worthy enough of talking to them’ and the hidden risk is ‘What if I get rejected and that emotional pain will just confirm to me, in my mind, that all that self doubt is not just a mere suspicion but now it’s a fact – I actually wasn’t worthy of this person and now I truely feel – rather than just suspect – that I indeed am not worthy in fact – rather than just in my mind’.
4) A SMALL INSIGHT INTO MY SOLUTION: You need to develop a thick skin very quickly to allay your fears and self doubts. This is why I make guys do their first three approaches with the AIM of getting rejected (often their biggest fear and emotional risk as they wish not to have real-world proof that they’re inferior). In reality this ‘inferiority fear’, ‘approach anxiety’ or ‘rejection anxiety’ (depending on what you wish to call it) is nearly ALWAYS cured by actually facing your fear and ‘getting rejected’ – but in reality, ‘rejection’ rarely ever happens. IF you’re trained correctly or know even the smallest amount of interpersonal / dating skills then the ‘rejections’ are never the whole ‘fuck off you’re a massive loser why the hell are you talking to me you freak?!’ (what we FEAR will happen) but in reality they’re just a conversationg going a little dead, a girl turning away to continue talking to her friends or someone very quickly saying ‘I have a boyfriend’.
Soon you’ll realise it is not so bad and rejection is really nothing to be fearful of – once you’re exposed to it you develop a thick skin to it and become more and more emotionally complacent with it.
Soon you do not care less about rejection and the hesitation I mentioned above in 2 is alleviated as you’ve already been rejected before and you really don’t care – most of all you’re still approaching and you will come to realise that the more you approach the more good validation / results you’ll get and this will give you ‘transient confidence’ (confidence in the moment – it’s a place where you’re totally not bothered about rejection – you don’t take it personally and you’re on a high because you’re consistently hunting our good validation / results and they’re consistently confirming to you that ‘you indeed are awesome’ and that’s what will get you into the zone – consistent good validation.
5) So, practically, how can you get yourself into the ‘zone’ so you just ‘click ‘ with girls and they can just SMELL you’re confident. As mentioned above: become complacent with your fears by exposing yourself to them – remove the fear and you’ll remove the hesistation- remove the hesistation / apprehensions / self doubt and it will show through your physiogamy. Do three approaches in quick succession with the aim to get rejected (the funny thing is 90% of the time you usually don’t get rejected and this good-validation will give you the confidence to ‘be in the groove’ as you put it as the real-world results in front of your eyes have convinced you that your self-doubts are mostly just in your head.
6) Hunt out ‘good validation’ and ignore ‘bad validation’ – how you hunt out good validation is by consistently asking yourself ‘How can I make this more fun for me right now?’
and really not taking anything too seriously at all – If you act in a non serious way this will be contagious and your targets will also then not take themselves too seriously, their defences will lower and all of a sudden your energies will bounce off eachother – you’ll be ‘vibing’ (as some people call it). It’s like a form of emotional momentum where your initial excitement / high energy gets her in the mode of also being excited and having high energy and the next thing you know you’re both just getting more and more excited and having more and more fun just because you’re in eachother’s presence. We all know people like this, some people who are always hyper and happy and you know that your dinner party (for example) is definitely going to be great because this person just changes the whole social dynamic.
Hope that helps, feel free to ask me any more questions and excuse the spelling / gramatical errors (quickly pelting this out in Athens airport before my laptop dies!)
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